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Thursday 6 March 2008

Back again with some memories.....

Well, as my mother might have said, I feel like I've been pulled through a hedge backwards! What a week! Leslie's funeral took place on Tuesday afternoon, and was very nice, with just a few invited friends, my sister, and Christine, who had cared for Leslie over the years at the nursing home. Ann, the minister, made it a celebration of Leslie's life, and spoke very caringly about her. The service was at the crematorium, and in a few weeks we will go back to disperse her ashes in the beautiful gardens. Erwin, a German fellow who Jim and Leslie took under their wing on a trip he made as a youngster about 40 years ago, wasn't able to come over for the funeral but would like to come over later for the scattering of the ashes. He was the nearest Leslie and her husband came to having a son of their own, and their friendship lasted all these years.

My friend Colin in Yorkshire, went to John's funeral on Tuesday morning. He said there was a huge turnout of John's friends at the church to say their goodbyes. Colin had felt quite emotional at the ceremony, and like me, said he was glad we had seen John, last autumn, and that our last memory of him had been of the jolly, happy-faced guy he always was, so surprised and pleased to see us both after quite a few years.
And then...... on Thursday when I saw Vina - well I wrote about that the last time I blogged - she was conscious and although she had little energy to join in conversations, she followed our faces and indicated what she was thinking by great movements of her eyebrows. She was not doing well at all though, and by Friday had fallen into a deep sleep which actually lasted over the weekend, until Tuesday, when finally, with her family round her, she slipped away.



I don't think it really has hit me yet. It will take the funeral to do that, I think. Friday at midday. Even the notice in the newspaper yesterday didn't seem real, like it was some other Vina, but Friday will bring it home. What a great friend she was. I'll never forget the first time I met her and Willie. It was on the day I moved into the house next door to them, 20 years ago, and they came to my door to introduce themselves and to welcome me to the house. We soon became great friends. We did so much together, and learned from each other too. She used to say I was the first "normal" neighbour she'd ever had, by which she meant that where most of her other former neighbours would call a man in to do a DIY job, I, like her, would tackle it myself! We had such a laugh wallpapering ceilings together in both our houses, hanging doors, fixing broken sash cords on windows, putting up a partition wall in my attic room.......

We joined the WRI, and the country dancing. We went for days out in the car when the B&B allowed - she followed me into the B&B - and what times we had! We were both into the genealogy thing, and I think I got to know her family history almost as well as my own. We'd discuss our "brick walls" and think of ways to maybe break those down - sometimes they worked and sometimes they didn't. She would tell me about the plants in my garden and make sure I cut them all back at the right times of the year. I soon learned the names of the plants - Latin ones too - and gradually learned how to love and care for them. We awaited with anticipation the arrivals of her grandchildren. We cried together when her mum died. We "slimmed" together too, though Vina always had so much more willpower than me, keeping the weight steady while I yo-yoed up and down, and it was only when I realised she was losing more weight than she should that I nagged her into going to the doctor. By this stage she wasn't feeling 100% and wasn't eating a lot at all, so I suspect the illness had already taken hold.

Forgive me for putting in this scrapbook page again, but it's for Vina, my great friend, who I am going to miss so much in the days to come.
Sleep well now Vina. The pain has gone.

Talk again soon.

1 comment:

Mary said...

Oh Evee... you write so well & I 'enjoyed' reading this post. You make sure you look after yourself (my friend).
Mary